Stagnated.....

Occasionally there comes a time when one feels as though their life has been on hold for a long period. This usually arises when one recognises the achievements of their peers and contrasts them with their largely unproductive last while.

I've noticed that this feeling of stagnation is greatly associated with this deafening ambiance. The sudden realisation that your creative energy has not been utilised when you're on the internet early in the morning tends to send your brain into a state of unrest, as if to prompt you to accomplish something, despite common sense telling you that it is unfeasable at such an early hour.

I suppose this explains what the content of this blog so far has been all about. I suppose I have interpreted this feeling of wanting to achieve something with a profound state of consciousness, and have associated the quietness and stillness of my surroundings with a slowing of the passage of time.

It seems to provoke me to attempt to express something about something that may be on my mind in an abstract manner. While this will often be light-hearted and not entirely serious, I like to think I've written something different and perhaps refreshing.

I wonder if anyone can relate.....

A feeling of immense profoundness...

And here I sit, with no desire but to spend the rest of eternity in this state. It is as if time is standing still and all that exists is me, though deep within myself, I know that this state is only temporary. I feel as if I were a droplet of water, clinging on to some intermediate surface between yesterday and tomorrow. Gravity pulls at me, eroding my grip on this surreal plane, so gradually as to create the illusion of non-transience, and yet, no sooner have I adjusted to this state of peaceful and invariably stagnant existance, I detach from the plane. I fall. I plummet downwards into the realm of sleep, awaking in a familiar reality, beginning a new day, ever hoping that I might revisit that blissful state once more.

The relentless, unforgiving forgetfulness of man...

Oh, the frustration! Woe betide those incredible thoughts, those wonderful insights which are realised in our minds and then pass us by, leaving only a superficial imprint in our minds of something deep and grandoise, but, alas, with no indication as to what it actually was. We strive to recover these thoughts, sometimes spending hours pondering what it might have been, what this dazzling, brilliant idea actually was, and yet, this is usually in vain, and we are confined to misery, deflation, and even anger.

And yet, while this forgetfulness may be apparent, is it real? Is it possible to have dreamed such wonderous dreams and fail to recover them in our minds? Did we really forget? Or is it all an illusion? Perhaps it is a spontaneous occurance. Perhaps what we think we once had, we never had at all. Does our mind expect more from us? Have we become so devoid of creativitiy, that our mind instinctively creates containers for profound thoughts, and yet we give it nothing to fill them with?

Glowsticks

Chemoluminescent, translucent plastic tubes, they may appear to simply emit light, but this is an illusion. To describe them as such would be a disgusting cheapening of their immense power and value. Their perplexing radiance fills their viewers with hope, happiness and deep thought about the true meaning of life. Their bright and cheerful nature melts the heart of even the most stubborn and conservative of men, and in gazing at their brilliant beauty, we are transported back to a place in our hearts which many of us thought had ceased to exist, a place we thought had gradually departed us as we made the transition from childhood to adulthood. Perhaps our innocence was not totally lost after all. Perhaps it is just that we refuse to embrace it. Perhaps reality is glowsticks and our lives are nothing but a psychotic delusion.

The Ambiance of the Early Morning

No sleep has been had so far. Thoughts of what is to come in 5 hours do not deter me from my state of relaxation that the early morning, and listening to Aphex Twin, brings.

Alas, my senses take hold and I must retire to the arena of my dreams, to be enthralled by vivid and surreal hallucinations that will be all but forgotten when I awake, leaving only a vague impression in my memory of my mystical and wonderful experiences.